Honeyed Toast

She hated the substance
spread across her toast
Most thought it was sweet
she thought it was gross
What about cinnamon sugar?
Or even plain butter?
Why did it have to be honey
to go with her supper?
The sight made her stomach churn
all thick and goopy
If her mom thought she would eat it
the woman was loopy
Though the texture was revolting
the taste was the worst
She picked up the toast
and mumbled a curse
She tried to distract herself
with thoughts of pizza or cheese
But the vile, disgusting flavor
nearly took her to her knees
She finally swallowed
breathed a sigh of relief
Gave her mom the stink eye
took a bite of roast beef
She had to eat it all
every bite of the toast
Or no ice cream for dessert
which she loved the most
Why honey of all things?
Why when they knew her dislike?
How could anyone like it?
it was a horrible sight
Some put it in yogurt
or even in their tea
Others liked it with fruit
sometimes strawberries
Mixed in with water
to soothe a sore throat
Though it never mixed well
nasty chunks would float
As she thought of the ways
that honey was served
She glanced down at her plate
and was greatly disturbed
For there was nothing she hated
more than the dreaded honey
Except what was sitting there now
a pile of steaming broccoli

Copyright © 2018 Ashley Uzzell


Upcoming Release!

Hello everyone!

We have a new book coming out on June 30th. Hunting Vampires with Grandma is a humorous short story about, you guessed it, old ladies that hunt vampires. I have rarely written a story that had me laughing as I was typing and this one took the cake!

Hunting Vamps teaser 1

Here is the summary:

Age is just a number when killing monsters is your specialty.

When Markie is attacked by a vampire, she finds out that her lovable grandma is more than she appears. A retired vampire hunter, G is forced to get the old gang back together when the very monsters that the ladies thought they had hunted to extinction show up in their town again.

Between knitting needles and fanny packs, psoriasis and holy water, Markie will soon realize that age really is just a number and that a handful of cranky old women can be scarier than any vampire bite.

Hunting Vampires with Grandma smaller

My favorite thing about this book is that each character is named after an indie author friend of mine. I hope you swing by and pick this one up. It is available for pre-order on these sites. Happy reading and I hope your summer is going great!

E-book Sale!


Hello all!

Great news, our books are on sale this week for 99¢. I Laughed, I Cried, I Crapped Myself, Spunky and the Wizard’s Chair, What Money Can’t Buy, and Where’s My Kitty? are available in Kindle format on Amazon. Wonderful family fun for a wonderful price! Hurry, this sale ends December 25th.

Swing by my Amazon author page for buy links or check out my Books List here.

Happy holidays, everyone!

The Adventures of Tanner the Tenacious Terrier Vol 1


My review for The Adventures of Tanner the Tenacious Terrier by Scott Berry.

Rating: 5 Stars


A fun and hilarious book for all ages. My kids and I were laughing at the stories and enjoying the pictures too. Great read!


If you wish to purchase this book, here is the Amazon link.