Honeyed Toast

She hated the substance
spread across her toast
Most thought it was sweet
she thought it was gross
What about cinnamon sugar?
Or even plain butter?
Why did it have to be honey
to go with her supper?
The sight made her stomach churn
all thick and goopy
If her mom thought she would eat it
the woman was loopy
Though the texture was revolting
the taste was the worst
She picked up the toast
and mumbled a curse
She tried to distract herself
with thoughts of pizza or cheese
But the vile, disgusting flavor
nearly took her to her knees
She finally swallowed
breathed a sigh of relief
Gave her mom the stink eye
took a bite of roast beef
She had to eat it all
every bite of the toast
Or no ice cream for dessert
which she loved the most
Why honey of all things?
Why when they knew her dislike?
How could anyone like it?
it was a horrible sight
Some put it in yogurt
or even in their tea
Others liked it with fruit
sometimes strawberries
Mixed in with water
to soothe a sore throat
Though it never mixed well
nasty chunks would float
As she thought of the ways
that honey was served
She glanced down at her plate
and was greatly disturbed
For there was nothing she hated
more than the dreaded honey
Except what was sitting there now
a pile of steaming broccoli

Copyright © 2018 Ashley Uzzell

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Little Elves

It’s rather late, I hear a sound
It gives me quite a fright
Little elves come have come around
Please clean my house tonight

I see you darting here and there
From the corner of my eye
I know I’m not supposed to stare
But even still, I try

I don’t mind you living here
Or visiting once or twice
Your presence gives me lots of cheer
I prefer you over mice

But if you want to sleep in my home
And nibble at my food
Maybe you could contribute some
Helping hands would be good

You could sweep the floors or beat the rug
Maybe take out the trash
Put dishes away without breaking a mug
It isn’t too much to ask

I hold magical creatures dear
If you want to stay, then come
But you have to earn your place here
Freeloaders are not welcome!

Copyright © 2017 Ashley Uzzell

Upcoming Release!

Hello everyone!

We have a new book coming out on June 30th. Hunting Vampires with Grandma is a humorous short story about, you guessed it, old ladies that hunt vampires. I have rarely written a story that had me laughing as I was typing and this one took the cake!

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Here is the summary:

Age is just a number when killing monsters is your specialty.

When Markie is attacked by a vampire, she finds out that her lovable grandma is more than she appears. A retired vampire hunter, G is forced to get the old gang back together when the very monsters that the ladies thought they had hunted to extinction show up in their town again.

Between knitting needles and fanny packs, psoriasis and holy water, Markie will soon realize that age really is just a number and that a handful of cranky old women can be scarier than any vampire bite.

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My favorite thing about this book is that each character is named after an indie author friend of mine. I hope you swing by and pick this one up. It is available for pre-order on these sites. Happy reading and I hope your summer is going great!

New Release: Once Upon A Pastry

Hello all!

Exciting news is coming in February, the month that is all about showing your affection to those you love. I’m releasing a new book titled Once Upon a Pastry! This is the first in a series of stand-alone stories called Fluffy Folktales; light hearted, clean romances set in a fairy tale world.

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Here is the blurb:

Gertrude wants to be the best baker and pastry chef in the city so she makes a deal with Mona the witch: one spell in exchange for her first-born child. The problem is, Gertrude doesn’t have a husband. Or a boyfriend. Or much interest in dating at all.

As the overly dramatic Mona occasionally stops by the flourishing bakery to see about Gertrude keeping up her end of the bargain, both women begin to realize that maybe the deal isn’t what will bring them true happiness. Soon, something more than friendship begins to blossom.

When tragedy strikes, Gertrude finds that she may lose the only family she has left. Is Mona a powerful enough witch to save the city and help the girl she is falling for? Can she let go of her regrets so she can move on to find her happily ever after?

This book will be available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle format on February 1st. Check it out on Goodreads and add to your Want To Read list!