I Am Mother

That is my name
That is my job
That is my purpose
I once had dreams
Goals, hopes for a happy life
Things I wanted to do
I was once young
I was once a woman
Now I am Mother

My children flourish
They grow so quickly
I adore them
I would never want to be without them
But they are all I know
The only true relationships I have
I was once well spoken
I was once content
Now I am Mother

I am not a woman with children
It is no longer a title
I have become this title
It is all I am
Not friend
Not lover
Not confidant
Not human being
I am only Mother

How do I go back?
How do I find that girl?
She was lost over the years
Murdered by bitterness
By sarcasm and harsh words
Ignored until she disappeared
She knew happiness and hope
But she is gone forever
Now I am Mother

Who will I be when the children are gone?
When they are grown
With lives of their own
Who will I become?
Will I find real relationships?
Or will I continue to be alone
And lonely
Will I only ever be
Mother?

Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

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Truth Revealed

A dream
a happy place
I stand with you
we laugh and dance

Gave everything
all of myself
You accepted my love
with smiles

One day I see
the dark truth revealed
Your love was fake
my heart betrayed

Lesson learned
I give my love
To no one now
Heart safe and sound

One day
I shall heal
Ready to try again
ready to trust another

Yet I will
still be wary
Searching for signs
of fake love, of disinterest

No more lies
no more betrayal
I will be more careful
next time around

Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Little Toes

Prancing around the house
Like the footsteps of a baby deer
On tippy-toes
To reach something too high

Giggles and squeals
Because “This Little Piggy” tickles
Twirling around
Like a tiny ballerina

High pitched laughter
When Mommy plays foot phone
Cries of protest
When time to cut toenails

“Mommy, ouchie!”
And I kiss the boo-boo away
I stroke them gently
As she falls asleep

Mommy’s sweetie
And her little toes

Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Song of Benjamin

A breeze begins, tossing grains of sand
It blows dead leaves across this barren land
Stirring the ashes left in my hand
No one lives here anymore

Skeletons of animals litter the ground
Skeletons of buildings are all around
Even ships are rusting, sunk in the sound
No one lives here anymore

I eat dry food I can barely taste
As I sit here alone in the desert waste
Wiping ashes and grit from my hands and face
No one lives here anymore

A house with broken windows stands across the way
Toys in the yard indicate children used to stay
No longer, now on those beds only ashes lay
No one lives here anymore

The silence is deafening, no bugs dare make noise
No more birds to chirp and sing with joy
No mothers calling, laughing girls and boys
No one lives here anymore

I could not save them from this hell
The hate and greed that in their hearts dwelled
Drove them mad and soon their world fell
No one lives here anymore

Why could man not love each other?
Why not see your own species as your brother?
Why kill your own families, your father and mother?
No one lives here anymore

Here I am all alone, a dead world and I
And though many, including myself, have tried
No matter what, it seems I just cannot die
I will live here, evermore

Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Go to Sleep

I tell you it will be okay
I tell you everything is fine
This is how your mother
Can ease your worried mind

I rub your back gently
In tiny circles up and down
I tell daring tales of pirates
Funny stories about clowns

I reassure you with my smile
I know you aren’t old enough to see
This curving of my lips is fake
There is deception in my glee

Those loud bangs are thunder
The flashes, lightning strikes
The screams are cheers of joy
Everything is all right

Go to sleep, little one
Find pleasant dreams to drown out the noise
Let us pretend there will be a tomorrow
Hide the horrors with simple joys

Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Down to the Creek

Sunlight peeps through the branches and leaves
To shine down upon my face
The sand is cool beneath my bare feet
As I keep a steady pace

The smells of summer surround me
The whisper of the wind in my ear
The feel of the worn fishing pole
Is a familiar comfort that I hold near

I have walked this path a million summers
I hope to walk it a million more
The trip as pleasant as the destination
Always welcome, never a bore

With my trusty old dog beside me
As relaxed and content as I
We make our way down to the creek
With no cares of how time will fly

We are often gone for the entire day
Every weekend, just him and me
This is the place where I can be myself
This is where I am truly free
Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Love-Fluffer

I feel a tickle near my ankle
Startled, I jump a mile high
But it’s just you, you sneak
Hopping up, you begin to knead my legs
That gentle rumble in your chest beginning
You glance at me
I look up from my book
We lock eyes and grin at each other
Then you turn circles and settle on my lap
I pet you absently, lazy swirls on your back
Your love rumble grows louder
My lap grows warm but not uncomfortably so
This is contentment, this is happiness
Affection from my little love-fluffer
My hairy heater, my sweet kitty
Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Deny

Back off a little
Keep away
You cannot be so close
Don’t invade my space
Or get in my personal bubble
Keep your distance
Never touch my skin
Never make direct eye contact
I cannot allow it
If you get too close
If there is no space between us
I cannot hide
These wishes
I cannot deny
My true feelings
Stay far away
So no one will know
How I really feel
No one can know
Least of all you
Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Time to Change

Time moves on around him
Time stands still in his head
Everything changing
Everything the same
People come and go
He does not move

Weary of the charade
He rises from his knees
Stretching hand and foot
Ankle and wrist
Until he stands tall
Ready for motion

Time moves on around him
Time stands still in his head
No more
Change is upon him
He advances forward
He begins to run

Now is the moment
To break through the silence
To alter his perception
Of this dreary world around him
He bursts forth into a new year of truth
Into a new life of meaning

Time moves on around him
He dances to it’s rhythm
Copyright © 2016 Ashley Uzzell

Arctic Winter

You left me here
In the bitter wind and cold
As the temperatures around me drop
So does my hope
Of being found
Of being loved
I sit here shivering
Dreaming of affection and kind words
But I’m surrounded by ice and death
And the darkness draws ever nearer
In my isolation, I wonder
Will I make it out alive?
Does it even matter?
 

Copyright © 2015 Ashley Uzzell